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Everything you always wanted to know about France - from France |
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The Sunday Times May 21, 2006 French mistress: When your kids salute Napoleon Helena Frith Powell Parents need to think long and hard about the consequences of taking their children to live abroad My husband has a foolproof method for ascertaining just how French our children are becoming. Every Sunday morning, as we tuck into our boiled eggs, he asks them two questions: what is the best football team in the world, and was Napoleon a good bloke? The children dutifully reply: “Chelsea, and no.” But I wonder if one day my husband will find himself choking on his toast soldiers as they nominate Marseille and start reeling off Napoleonic victories. “Aren’t you worried your children will grow up French?” I am often asked. Worried? Yes. About almost everything there is to worry about, and plenty more. About them growing up French? No. It seems to me a pretty nice thing to grow up into. And when they’re ready for their first job, they can go on the French version of The Apprentice. Instead of being told, “You’re fired,” you’re told, “You’re completely useless, so you’ve got a job for life.” The question of national identity is one that every parent should think about when they uproot their children and take them to a foreign country. Strangely enough, the children feel strongly about the issue as well. My daughter, Olivia, was only one when we moved to France, but she maintains she wants to live in London and has a strong preference for all things English. This includes her choice of friends at school. Although they are now only six years old, four of them hang out in an English clique. I can’t decide whether I’m appalled by this or secretly quite pleased that she is exposed to English culture outside the home. At least they can discuss Peter Rabbit and Winnie the Pooh without having to explain who they are. But how much of a difference does living in another country make to their character? Does it mean they become less English? Will they feel more French when they’re 18 and renounce their British passport in favour of a French one? Will they refuse to eat Marmite? Will they start demanding snails for lunch? Who will they support in the World Cup? Our babysitter, Miranda, 17, who has English parents but has lived in France for 15 years, says: “England when I’m in France and France when I’m in England.” I am always amazed by how English her accent is: you’d think she had been brought up in Surrey. “But I am English,” she says when I tell her this, although she admits that when she visits her cousins in England, she is appalled by several things. “They all drink, smoke and have sex, all the time. If a girl behaved like that over here, she’d be known as a slut,” she says, before adding in an even more horrified tone, “and they never eat bread with their meals”. I have noticed my children becoming French in some ways. I took Olivia to a museum a few days ago. There was a part of the room that was cordoned off. “We don’t have the right to go there,” she told me very seriously. “We can go here and there,” she said, pointing to the non-cordoned-off parts. “But not there.” Although part of me wanted to skip over the cordon singing God Save the Queen, I actually quite like the French sense of what is right and what is wrong. One of the worst things that you can say to someone here is: “Ce n’est pas normal.” This basically means it’s not right, and can be used to describe anything from genocide to a badly cooked piece of duck. Of course, we will never be French. Even if we live here for the next 50 years, we’ll always be known as the English on the hill. I don’t even think our children will ever be seen as French, even though, Bea, my middle daughter, speaks English with a French accent, and French with the southern twang of the Midi. Integration is tough. A reader who lives in southwest France wrote to me complaining that despite the fact that his 11-year-old daughter had been in the same village there for her entire school life (including nursery school), she was still listed as a “foreigner” in school documents. But I didn’t move to France to become French. I moved to France for a better life — although I have noticed I have a growing obsession with introducing the children to Beatrix Potter, Mary Poppins and Orlando the Marmalade Cat, among other thoroughly British institutions. If they choose to ignore them and opt for The Little Prince instead, that’s up to them. Funnily enough, I suspect the English culture that I am so keen to expose them to comes from an England that no longer exists. Which is another reason why we moved. Rail refunds without hassle If you call SNCF, the state railway company, and ask to change or refund a train ticket, it will tell you there is no other option but to go to a station in person and do it before the train you were booked on is due to leave. This is not so. In some cases, you can change it online, and if you can’t do that, call the usual SNCF number (3635) and tap #33 as soon as the menu begins. You will need your ticket with you to key in all sorts of codes from it, but you can cancel the reservation via an automated service. If you do cancel a reservation on the internet or on the phone, you need to take the ticket to any station within three months to secure the refund. But at least the pressure is off to appear in person before the ticket is rendered invalid. Phone home on the cheap Norrie Hearn, a reader living in the Savoie, tells me about a company that allows you to call abroad from France for local rates. All you need to do is to dial an access number before the number you want and you can talk to anywhere from Manchester to Mumbai for just a few centimes a minute. For more details, go to www.telerabais.fr More France Please, We’re British by Helena Frith Powell is available at The Sunday Times Books First price of £9.49, with free p&p in the UK, on 0870 165 8585, or visit www.timesonline.co.uk/books There are over 2,000 features and articles on this site about French life and living in France. You can search from the search box above. Do browse through our website and please use the advertising links, they help pay for the site. I do try to reply to all mail - Contact Me - most is about property or living in France. I publish comments in this newsletter which I believe are of interest and may help find answers for people wanting to come to France. I hope readers will go to the adverts which help support our overheads. |
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